I hate the beach. That was a bad way to start, as I have probably already alienated those of you who love to dig your toes in the sand, swim with sharks, and find that the ocean holds some magical property that soothes your soul. And I'm happy for you—really. I just don't find anything restful about sand in my bed and squawking seagulls. The only good thing about the beach is Beach Reads, which I have found you can, in fact, read without actually being at the beach.
Yet, I am going next month, with my book club. I'm sure you have no sympathy for me, nor should you. I gave into peer pressure, just as if I was fifteen and the head cheerleader was urging me to cut class with her. Come to think of it, Dr. Great Smile was not only a cheerleader, but homecoming queen, and it was she who whipped out her iPhone and started punching in dates and giving orders. Pretty soon, I had myself a trip to the beach all lined up. But I love Dr. Great Smile and all the other smart funny women in my book club. We've buried each others' dead, held hands through divorces, celebrated marriages, and been on hand for a thought-to-be early menopause that turned out to be named Sam.
They love the beach and I flatly refused to go last time they went. I knew, sooner or later, another proposed pilgrimage to the sand and sand fleas would come up. Oldest Friend is beside herself with joy that I am going. She is one of those who draws strength from the tranquility. Cutest Girl Alive has already warned us that she has a date every day with the sand and a cooler full of beer and she won't be driving anywhere. Sam's Mom has agreed to ride the ferry with me, probably because if there are any three or thirteen-year-olds on board, they won't be hers. Ms. Classy doesn't like the beach any better than I do, so I can count on her for companionship out of the sun. Heart-breaker Soul-shaker isn't going, but who can blame her? Her husband does something important weekdays in Tokyo, London, and Opp, Alabama. She has to do her heart-breaking and soul-shaking on the weekend.
How about you? Do you like the beach?
I love the beach but I do not like being in the ocean very much. When my family is out there, I feel like I'm on lookout for Jaws. But when we're all sitting under umbrellas, sunning or digging in the sand creating the best sand castles ever seen, I'm content. Of course, there must be a breeze to soothe my spirit as the waves caress the shoreline. But add jelly fish and sharks to the mix and I'm blowing my whistle to get my peeps out of the water.
ReplyDeleteWatching movies like Jaws at a young age has warped my sense of peace. Some things aren't meant to be discovered. Like clowns in the movie It.
Jaws might have done it for me too--though I think it's mostly the sand. I hate to be dirty. I also don't like to be hot. Makes me wonder why I'm living in the south--but not much. People are fascinated with sharks though. Isn't there a show about shark attacks? Next week, Bones is going to be about sharks. Once, I was sitting on a boat when my husband popped up out of the water and removed his scuba mask to tell me he'd seen a shark and he was going to chase it. If he hadn't taken the time to share his excellent news, perhaps he would have caught it and it would living in my bathtub.
ReplyDeleteYes, and my family loves to watch Shark Week. And they wonder why I'm so fixated on the danger...
ReplyDeleteThey like to go way out onto the breaker, about waist deep in water. Ack! Then they end up coasting down with the current to where I can't see them as well. I'm telling you, I get extremely irritated and I have to keep telling Alpha1 to bring them closer in.
I love the feel of sand between my toes, especially cool/moist sand. :)
Joy doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about your going to the beach. I am going to do my best to drum up some excitement for you, although it might only be a toothless fisherman who wants a companion for the night.
ReplyDeleteO.F. It would, indeed, be exciting to witness you being the companion of a toothless fisherman for the night. While you're at it, see if you can score some free fish for us.
ReplyDelete