How hot should it be?Whenever I start to write a sex scene, it's a question that plagues me. Also, how many sex scenes are too many? Too few? I was pondering this while making cheese straws to take to Little Babygirl's second birthday party. Our current manuscript, which Plotter and I are in the final stages of polishing, only has one real sex scene, with a couple of short interludes and some sexy thoughts from the hero and heroine. That pretty well matches up with the books I've read in the line that we hope will be interested. With only 60,000 words to work with, you just can't spend a lot of time in the bedroom--not if you intend to tell a story. You have to get across the sensuality in other ways. I hope we've done that.
It's kind of like a cheese straw. I've make thousands of cheese straws over the years. The recipe I use is in the Junior League of Morgan County's original cookbook, Cotton County Cooking. I've tweaked it a little, as one is wont to do, making some mistakes from time to time when I've gotten too adventurous. Don’t try to add sesame seeds, garlic, or blue cheese. It just messes it up a good thing. I've learned what works and I do the same thing every time, with only one variable—the cayenne pepper. The recipe calls for a half teaspoon. That is not enough, ever. How much is enough depends on the occasion where the cheese straw eating is going to go on. If it's a ladies' daytime party, I use one teaspoon. If I have volunteered to make them for some charity event where there's a cash bar and silent auction, I use at least two teaspoons. The spicier the food, the more people drink. The more they drink, the more they bid on items they don't need and probably don’t want, hence the cause of the moment is a success.
For Little Babygirl's party, I settled on somewhere in between nice lady tea
party and get 'em drunk and take their money. It was going to be a late afternoon to evening affair with mostly adults in attendance. Babygirl was making appetizers and Little Babygirl's daddy was going to boil fifty pounds of crawfish in the backyard. There would be liquor but no cash bar and no silent auction. (Babygirl wouldn't do that, no matter how expensive it is to finance Little Babygirl's wardrobe and shoe collection.) It seemed a safe bet that this crowd would be a little spicier than a bridal tea. I was right. There wasn't a cheese straw left.
When I have written as many sex scenes as I've made cheese straws, maybe the answers will come easier—but there is never going to be just one variable. What fun would that be?
Tell us what you think of sex scenes—writing and reading them.
Love to read them and hate writing them. To me it is the hardest part of a novel - you always run the chance of repeating yourself. Ok, LOL, but that's true, at least for me. Not to go into too much detail but describing the act is like torture, trying to find new words to describe an old act is hard (punny). Does anyone else have the same problem while trying to keep it fresh?
ReplyDeleteSex scenes--to me can make or break a story. For me, the most important thing is building the story and tension. Make me vested in the characters. The sex should flow seamlessly into a story.
ReplyDeleteStories that throw in scene after scene of sex...can be, shall I say, monotonous? I want to laugh, get angry, nervous, enthralled with the characters first.
Now that said...do I write them? Every once in awhile I will. My first draft had one...but I had to take it out. As I said, if it doesn't fit in the story, that is the first thing that I get rid of.
Side bar to Cheryl: Its blasted hard sometimes...someone once gave me 100 adjectives just for that...LOL I'll share if you want it.
Please...Please...have I begged enough?
ReplyDeleteCheryl--I know what you mean. Trying to describe it in a fresh way is a challenge.
ReplyDeleteM.V.--I'd like that list too.
Hey, Maybe we should all get together and bring a sex scene to read aloud.
I would love to have that list too! :-D
ReplyDeleteLike Cheryl, I love reading them but also have a hard time writing them. I'll start to write the scene and it ends up sounding so...lame...that I stop and go on to something else. I'm thinking my hangup may be I'm worried who might be reading it some day. Got it get over that!!
Sherry, I know what you mean. I usually don't think about who will read it. However,last winter when we were getting ready to send a full manuscript to Christopher Keeslar after finaling in the Drochester contest, it gave me a bit of a pause to realize a man was going to read those sex scenes. Ridiculous, I know. We're all professionals and I certainly didn't change anything. But it made me understand that people think about who will read it.
ReplyDeleteI'll be happy to share!
ReplyDeleteand as for sharing a sex scene...That would be hilarious! or scary...I know I would squirm quite a bit.
And you made me wonder..what do men think when we write these scenes? Hmmm.
I CAN NOT comment on this other than to say thank you for the cheese straws - they were out of this world, as always!!
ReplyDeleteThe reason I can not comment on this is because in my world, Fairy God Mothers don't have sex and don't talk about it. I know, I need to grow up but I'm just not there yet!
ReplyDeletePrecious Babygirl, you just keep on thinking that. You are absolutely correct.
ReplyDeleteI'll be glad to join in the readings. Let's do it! Just spent the morning in the French Quarter - I'm pumped and loaded with mimosas!
ReplyDeleteCheryl, I am so jealous! I think we should have our sex scene workshop soon!
ReplyDeleteI believe I have that list--I remember getting it from another writer friend. It's great. As far as sex scenes go--how many or how spicy--I guess it's about what the publishing line is looking for (category), but ultimately, if my H/H are making love in a scene where the plot, emotions and characters aren't growing, then it's not necessary.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I am getting sick of writing them. They are super hard to manage and there are really only so many ways to kiss, touch, and *ahem*.
This reminds me of when Pantster and I first started writing and got to a sex scene. She wrote it and sent it to me. It was sorta like adding cayenne pepper. I sent it back to her saying that it needed to be hotter. She spiced it up and sent it back to me. I told her, "Better, but it needs to be hotter." What I got back took my breath away so we rewrote that and just like Goldilocks the third try was "Just right!"
ReplyDeleteCheryl-I am so jealous of your French Quarter time. Have drink for me!
All- I love the idea of a Sex Scene Workshop.
Oh, the things we could learn!
Great blog post. These kind of scenes are very hard for me. I've still got that choir prepared to sing over my shoulder, either "Halleluyah" during great moments of genius or repeating in unison "You're writing that? How do you ever expect to walk into church again?"
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in your list too, Mary. :D
And just so you know, I love your cheese straws, Panster!!
Kathy--Thanks. The Guy and I ate lunch last Saturday at Edgar's Bakery in Birmingham. They were selling cheese straws 2 dozen for $9.00! I said I thought I, maybe should be in the cheese straw business. He said he didn't think I wanted to make cheese straws, that I wanted to write.
ReplyDeleteThe Guy has a point, Panster. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be able to get cheese straws from you when you desire to make them. That makes them much more special. :D
You are hilarious, my friend! I love reading you! I can just see you standing there tapping your chin with the cheese straw pondering the right mix of pepper for the audience. My daughter and I were laughing out loud about the silent auction for little baby girl's wardrobe!
ReplyDeleteShe especially enjoyed your current book choice! Funny, Funny!
DoRightWoman--This is high praise since you are one of the funniest people I have ever known--still. I'm going to send you a private message on facebook.
ReplyDelete